To my best friend, on her birthday

Happy Birthday, Sweetie,

You would have been 37 today and we would have had an amazing time. We always had fun, no? Even if it was just a train ride home.  We made each other laugh over nothing and you knew me, probably better than anyone else.

Thank you for choosing me, my friend, for seeing that 7 year old in the park clumsily playing basketball by herself and approaching.  I know that must have been hard for you, you were never the first one to speak, though you always had the most interesting things to say.

Thank you for taking care of me and my feelings for decades.  Thank you for always being prepared, with a sandwich, $5, a hello kitty imprinted tissue, an umbrella. You always covered my head before yours, because that’s who you were: generous and loyal, loving and beautiful. Thank you for being a part of my life for so long, for never forgetting me, for listening to me and for your advice, your sweetness.

Facebook notified me it was your birthday today, like I needed a reminder, like I could ever forget the 16th of May, even without you here.  You´re still on my Gchat, too, and sometimes I just wanna click on your name and tell you everything, but I think you already know.

You’ve never not known about the important and the trivial things in my life.  Remember our Thursday night dinners, I loved those!  You always found the best, most exotic places and you always insisted on paying, even if it was your birthday.  As if I could let you? Those tacos at Chelsea Market were fantastic, that pho, you know which one, the *kfc* or the bahn mi we ate on the bus from Boston. Remember the Muse concert? I never thought you could look happier, I think I was there just to see that huge smile take over your face.

I think you would have been here with me, either on my birthday or yours, I think we would have had a great meal and some better drinks and laughed and talked about what the hell we were doing with our lives.  You always made me smile, you always had a way of explaining things.  I was always happy to be around you.

So, to my best friend on her 37th birthday, I love you, I will always love you.  You have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  I don’t need to tell you what’s been going on, you already know from that part of you that always knew me.  I just wanted to say thank you for being my sister, my friend, my conspirator, my ally, my rock.  There are no good-byes baby girl, just a see you later, and I would say save me a seat but I know you already have.





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